Thorfinn and the Raging Raiders Read online

  They made their way down to the fort, where they had to join a queue for the reception desk.

  Erik protested. “This is ridiculous. We’re Vikings, we don’t queue!”

  Harald silenced him with a look from his twitchy eye.

  They eventually reached the front and were greeted by a man with slicked-back hair and a smooth voice. “Good day, gentlemen. Which day spa package would you prefer – bronze, silver or gold?”

  Harald shrugged. “I don’t care. We’ll take the cheapest one.”

  “Pardon me, dear Father,” said Thorfinn, “but the gold package includes a nice scalp massage.”

  “Gold is our best value package,” said the man.

  “Fine!” said Harald. “How much?”

  “That will be forty gold pieces, sir,” said the smarmy receptionist.

  “WHATT?!” cried Erik, his face flushing with anger. “FORTY?! That’s daylight robbery. And I’m a Viking; I should know.”

  “FINE!” said Harald. “Let’s just get in, shall we?” He counted out his money.

  The man smiled again. “Thank you, sir. Here are your tokens. Now, would you like to rent towels, slippers and robes for your visit?”

  Hagar nearly choked. “Are you mad? Vikings don’t wear robes and slippers!”

  “Oh, plenty of them do, sir,” replied the man. “We are a popular holiday destination for Vikings. It makes a nice change from all the burning and pillaging.”

  “No,” said Harald. “We’ll be fine as we are.”

  The man sucked sharply through his teeth. “You’re not allowed in the lagoon area with normal clothes on, sir.”

  “Oh, please Dad,” said Thorfinn. “I’d love a nice robe.”

  “Fine!” said Harald, again.

  “That’ll be another six gold pieces.”

  “WHATT?!” cried Erik. “I’m in the wrong business. C’mon, let’s fight them!”

  At which point a troupe of heavily armed and seriously muscular guards appeared out of nowhere to block the way.

  “We can take these idiots!” Wilfred snarled.

  “No!” said Harald, counting out more money, with a long sigh and a shake of the head.

  “Well,” said Thorfinn, “this is turning into an excellent day out.”

  They picked up their robes, slippers and towels and proceeded to the changing rooms. Erik, Harald and his boys cringed with embarrassment as they passed the line of guards.

  “Oi! And leave your weapons here,” said one of them.

  Sven roared, “WHATT?! I’ll slaughter you!”

  More guards appeared, but Harald held Sven back. “No, we need to find my wife first.”

  “The chief’s right,” said Velda. “Stand down.”

  In the changing rooms there were three fist fights over lockers, four over towels, and another two over slippers. Finally, they emerged enrobed in their luxurious white bathrobes. Erik still had his helmet on. “Well, I’m not taking this off at least. I’ve got my pride.”

  The Vikings had to queue up one final time to get through a gate, which was operated by a sad-looking elk. It moved forward to lift the barrier whenever someone put a token into the slot.

  This riled Erik even more. “Another queue! Right, that’s it!” He started to push his way through, but the guards appeared in front of him, blocking the way.

  “You got a problem?” growled one of them.

  Erik growled back. “C’mon, let’s fight them!”

  “We don’t have our weapons,” said Harald. “What are we going to do, flick them with our towels?!”

  Erik seethed. “I want to speak to the manager!”

  Thankfully Velda took control, herding the Vikings towards the gate and bundling them through one by one.

  In the lagoon area at last, they looked to and fro, searching among the faces in the water, until Harald stopped suddenly and pointed to someone familiar at the far end of the lagoon.

  CHAPTER 17

  There she was, with her unmistakeable mane of long blonde hair and her piercing green eyes.

  Freya was lying back in the warm water, drinking from a big blue cocktail complete with cherries, pineapple, a tiny umbrella and a twirly straw.

  “MUM!” cried Thorfinn’s three brothers all at once. They marched over to her, with Harald leading the way.

  “Freya!”

  She looked up, saw Harald and her face fell. “Awww! What are you lot doing here? How did you find me?”

  Thorfinn stepped out from behind his father’s back and smiled. Freya grinned back at him and winked. “Ah, I might have known. He’s the only one of you with enough brains.”

  “We’ve come to take you home,” said Harald.

  “Ha!” she laughed. “I’m not coming home. I’m having way too much fun.”

  “Dear Mother,” said Thorfinn. “I don’t suppose you’d mind if I joined you in the water?”

  “Of course not, Thorfinn.”

  Thorfinn took off his robe and slipped into the steaming water beside her. “Ahhhh! Now that’s very refreshing.”

  “Don’t forget to try the mud,” she said.

  “Ooh yes, how could I forget.” He scooped up some whitish mud from the bank and smeared it all over his face, and Percy’s too. “There you go, Percy. That will make you feel like a new pigeon.”

  Harald and the others watched all this with horror. Then Wilfred stepped forward, looking a bit like a scolded child. “Mum, what’s all this about you not being happy?”

  “Don’t you like the Viking life?” said Sven.

  “Why did you run away?” asked Hagar.

  Freya simply sucked on her straw, draining her cocktail glass to the bottom. She tossed it away and shouted, “WAITER! Another fancy cocktail please!”

  Beads of sweat appeared on Harald’s brow. “Look, you’re coming with us. Do I have to drag you back to the boat?”

  Thorfinn’s mother flexed her knuckles. “You can try, but I don’t fancy your chances.”

  “Neither do I,” yelled Velda, slipping into the water next to Freya. “And if you touch her you’ll have two of us to contend with.”

  A small man with a teacherly look stepped towards them, flanked by guards. “Excuse me, is there a problem here? I’m the manager. Can I help you?”

  There was something very familiar about his thin, squeaky voice. As soon as Velda heard it she sat bolt upright.

  “DAD?!”

  CHAPTER 18

  The man took one look at Velda and gasped. “Velda? VELDA!”

  She jumped out of the water and leapt into her father’s arms. The two of them bounced around with joy.

  “My little girl!” the man cried.

  “I don’t believe it! I found you! After all this time!” Velda shrieked.

  “Gunga the Navigator!” said Erik. “Well I never.”

  Gunga put his daughter down and turned to Harald and the others. “It’s about time you got here. Where have you been? Didn’t you get my pigeon posts?”

  Everyone looked at each other, then at Percy, who appeared to shrug his wings.

  “No!” said Harald. “We didn’t.”

  “Oh, I sent them south, so you should have got them.”

  “Pardon me, dear sir,” said Thorfinn, “but Norway is east of here, not south.”

  “Oh, is it?” said Gunga, scratching his bald head.

  “How did you end up in this awful place?” asked Harald.

  “Well,” said Gunga, “I was on my way to discover the New World, as you know, and I got shipwrecked here. There was nothing to do, so I decided to build this holiday resort around the hot springs. Do you like it?”

  Erik glowered at him. “As a matter of fact, NO!”

  “See!” said Velda. “I kept telling you I’d find my dad one day. I kept telling you he had great ideas, and you never believed me.”

  “You call this slime-pit a great idea?” said Erik.

  “I had big plans for the place. I was about to build a casino ove
r there, but there’s no point now.”

  “But why not, Mr Navigator?” asked Thorfinn.

  “Because you’ve come to get me.” He squeezed his daughter’s hand. “And we’re going home. Isn’t that right, Velda?”

  “You bet we are, Dad!” They started walking towards the turnstile.

  “Wait!” said Harald, turning back to his wife. Freya was sipping from a new cocktail, a bright pink one with half a banana hanging off the side of the glass. “Freya, I… I…”

  Erik glared. “You’re not going to say what I think you’re going to say, are you?”

  “I… ap—” Harald struggled to get the words out. “I… ap—”

  “Vikings don’t apologise!” snapped Erik.

  Harald snarled at Erik. “Butt out, Ear-Masher!”

  Erik shrank back.

  Harald stiffened, then sank to his knees. “Look, I’m sorry. I’ve been a blind fool!”

  Thorfinn’s three brothers followed their father’s lead, slumping down behind him. “We’re sorry too, Mum.”

  “Will you please just come home?” asked Harald.

  Thorfinn’s mother smiled. “Well, since you put it sooo nicely.” She stepped out of the water and put on her robe. “C’mon then, Thorfinn.”

  Thorfinn took her hand and smiled. “Yes, Mum, let’s.”

  Freya and Thorfinn led the way back to the ship.

  CHAPTER 19

  “SHHHHHHHHHH!”

  Breakfast time in any Viking house was a messy business, but in the house of Harald the Skull-Splitter, the famous Viking chief, it was different now – a calm, quiet, civilised affair.

  Wilfred was wearing an apron and frying sausages over the hearth, Sven was laying the table, and Hagar was milking the cow outside. Harald was sitting at the head of the table reading The Daily Hatchet newspaper. Beside him sat Thorfinn, his napkin, eggcup, knife and spoon set out in front of him.

  Thorfinn’s mother entered, wearing a bearskin robe. Harald stood up, somewhat sheepishly for a ferocious Viking chief.

  “Ahem… Morning.”

  “Good morning everyone,” said Freya.

  “The sausages will be ready in a minute, Mother,” said Wilfred.

  “The table is set,” declared Sven.

  “I’M NEARLY FINISHED MILKING THE COW!” called Hagar from outside.

  Freya sat down next to Thorfinn and flicked open her napkin. “Wonderful.”

  “How are you enjoying being back?” asked Thorfinn.

  “I’m tickled pink,” she said, with a smile. “What would I do without you, Thorfinn?”

  “And what would we do without you, Mother? Welcome home.”

  Copyright

  Young Kelpies is an imprint of Floris Books

  First published in 2016 by Floris Books

  This eBook edition published in 2016

  Text © 2016 David MacPhail. Illustrations © 2016 Floris Books David MacPhail and Richard Morgan have asserted their rights under the Copyright, Designs and Patent Act 1988 to be identified as the Author and Illustrator of this work

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced without the prior permission of Floris Books, Edinburgh www.florisbooks.co.uk

  British Library CIP data available

  ISBN 9781782502340

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